Myself! When problems arise in my marriage, with my kids, work or even with my body, I could stay preoccupied with the perceived offender or I can internally look at myself and see if there is a space for growth. When I first started realizing I was powerless to get my husband or kids to act exactly the way I want to feel good about myself, I was discouraged and felt hopeless. However, as I studied human behavior and cycles of families I realized I wasn't powerless. In fact, I could completely change my circumstances by looking at my part in the system or situation. I feel better when I focus on my choices, behaviors, and feelings. I grow to be the best version of myself despite my situations. I can still act honorably no matter what happens. I don't have to be subject to other peoples actions or words. Don't get my wrong I am by no means where I want to be. in fact I have a long way to go. But I am so much happier keeping my focus on things I can control or change.
The second step to making my best tool work is to choose to believe the best in those around me. I choose to believe they have good intentions. Now they may not have good intentions. However, the truth is I can live worrying about "the what if's"or I can live my life to the fullest. I can see the world as being against me or I can see it as mostly good. When I see it as mostly good and full of good intentions I am less likely to take things person. When I reinterpret peoples behavior I actually get the rewards more than the other person does. It is not able me letting them off the hook, it is about me walking freely, freely to love and live.
These two steps might seem simple but when you really evaluate life so often we are stuck because we blame our circumstances whether its our job, friends, family, children or spouse. It so much easier to say "they make me so angry that's why I did ____." It is so much harder to say "when they do ________ I loose control of my anger, I wonder how I can work on my response." The first statement I am powerless to other, the second I have ability to change. I am not a victim to the circumstances.
Take some time and see how you talk to yourself about where you are. Are you blaming yourself, are you blaming others. Neither will help you progress. Start changing the way you talk to yourself. Own your parts and shift them, see what you can do different and get help so you can! There is HOPE to change your circumstances. #createchange #youcreatechange #hope #believeinyourself